My Parenting Guilt
Does anyone else find entertaining the children a little more difficult these days? Is technology to blame? Alternatively, as we as parents getting a bit lazy?
Despite my best efforts to entertain my children, they still crave gaming over real interactions. It’s as if nothing is ever good enough. Itʼs is very frustrating! It’s as if nothing seems exciting for them. Nothing has the entertainment value of the games they are playing online.
My eldest son has even stopped having his friends around. As “thereʼs no point” because they are all online together with their headsets playing games.
Okay, I know what you are thinking… “why donʼt I limit them etc.”.. well I find it very difficult if I am honest. Itʼs, a vicious circle. If I ban them, then they are all moaning, arguing amongst each other. Everything is “boring”, and no one is willing to do ANYTHING. I honestly feel like I cannot win. Unless you have buckets of money to take them to theme parks, zoos, cinema or whatever. Then itʼs quite hard to keep them all happy and to compete with the adrenaline and excitement from these games.
Not Just the Teens
Itʼs also very difficult having children with a vast age range. My eldest is 14, and my youngest is 4. Iʼm sure you can imagine, and some of you can understand how hard it is to keep everyone happy.
Taking a walk in the countryside, having picnics, meeting with friends, going to the beach now seem to be memories of the past, and it saddens me.
Upon reflection I have let this happen, yes, society hasnʼt helped, but I play a big part to blame in all of this!
I have allowed my children to get obsessed with this virtual world, and by me thinking that Iʼm helping them as “technology is the future”. Then I have created these obsessions.
Parenting seems nothing but making mistakes and feeling guilt most of the time.
Guilty Mum is Taking Charge
Itʼs time to make a change. Easter holidays, I have made sure I have taken them out every day to limit them playing on their consoles. With a great deal of moaning, arguing and stress, they have enjoyed.
Maybe I should force them into situations that they donʼt want to do. Feel that guilt, deal with the moans, the strops and the “I hate youʼs “, but then know Iʼve made the right choice. When I hear those giggles and those sometimes annoyingly loud happy noises, seeing those smiles, honestly makes all those other worries melt away. Writing this and not knowing where I was going to go with it has brought a massive realisation to me. We as parents try our best, thatʼs all we can do. What works for one family wonʼt necessary work for another family. Parenting does not come with a manual (I wish it did). Itʼs all about making mistakes, a heap load of guilt, lots of disagreements, boundaries are pushed (to the limit most of the time).
We must recognise that we are not responsible for our children’s happiness. Moreover, by that, I mean As Parents we tend to feel accountable for our kids’ emotions have great difficulty is allowing them to experience anger, sadness, or frustration. I think We tend to swoop in immediately to give my children whatever we believe will bring a smile or to solve whatever is causing our children distress. ( I am so guilty of this!)
Itʼs become apparent that children who never learn to deal with negative emotions are in danger of being crushed by them as adolescents and adults. (Woah more parent guilt!).
I’m Not Responsible for my Children’s Emotions
Once we as parents, except that we can not make your child feel happiness (or any other emotion for that matter). You will be less inclined to try to “fix” their feelings, and more likely to step back. Allow them to develop the coping skills and resilience theyʼll need to bounce back from life’s inevitable setbacks.
Nurture Your Happiness
While we cannot control our children’s happiness, we are responsible for our own. Moreover, because children absorb everything from us, our moods matter. Happy parents are likely to have happy kids. Consequently, one of the best things you can do for your child’s emotional well-being is to attend to yours. Making time for a rest (whatʼs that?), relaxation, and, perhaps most important, romance.
So, parents out there. letʼs carry on trying our best find a balance knows that not one parent is doing it right all of the time! … letʼs not beat ourselves up too much about the right or wrong decisions we make! and most importantly donʼt forget to nurture yourself.
I’ve been using my treat time as a bath bomb from Leanne. She sells locally from Carmarthen to Swansea areas currently. Leanne is looking forward to opening her own shop where she can sell further afield. I said I will do a full review of her products when she is ready to launch her shop. Meanwhile, you can click the image and like her selling page.
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